#12 - Retail therapy

I’ve had to be more careful about spending money since I lost my job, limiting my purchases of branded baked beans to special occasions only, buying porridge from Lidl, going ad-supported on a number of streaming services, and cutting my coffee intake to just six double espresso lattes a day. I even made my kids play their favourite game, Hungry Hippos, with fewer balls and stiffened chomp levers, so they’d get used to the idea of having less and needing to work harder for the privilege (I didn’t do this, it’s a dramatic flourish - I’ve tried to not let my job status affect them at all). But even the best laid plans fail when needs must. This week needs musted.

On Sunday night a thudding splosh interrupted my evening of melting in front of the TV. I panicked.

Side-note here for anyone unfamiliar with the entire Tom Orry back catalogue of disasters. Water-based issues fill me with dread following the infamous burst pipe of Christmas Eve 2024, an evening and following events that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. My memory of Christmas Day that year is limited to waking up with a stiff neck as Muppet Christmas Carol played on TV.

Anyway, thankfully Sunday evening had no such house-wrecking moment. On inspection my washing up bowl (that I’d forgotten to empty an hour or so earlier) had finally succumbed to the stresses of everyday life. Some eight years since it first took up residence in my sink, a 7cm laceration appeared due to weakening of the plastic. The bowl fell from its position wedged above the bottom of the sink, in turn sending used washing water across the kitchen floor. Sad times, but we weren’t about to call an emergency plumber and move in with my mum at midnight.

My bowl (who I probably neglected to care for as well as I should have) was heading to the recycling. It was time to get to work.

Let me tell you something: if you’ve never bought a new washing up bowl you haven’t truly lived. Chances are, if you’re reading this you’re probably old. I’m sure you have a washing up bowl, but did you choose it yourself? Did you do the research? Did you take measurements? I did those things, and it was a thrill hard to describe. How do you know you’ve considered the purchase enough for something that’ll live alongside you for the best part of a decade?

The next day I set my sights on a thing of beauty. An Addis large rectangular 10 litre washing up bowl, in metallic silver. Feast your eyes on it below.

It was time to spend some moolah. £4.50 of moolah to be exact!

My daughter, used to everything being for her, immediately grabbed the bowl that had been delivered to our doorstep, and ran off with it. Before I’d managed so much as a squirt of washing up liquid, she’d filled it with toy cars and magnetic building blocks. A short scuffle later, she retained ownership of the bowl.

Later that day, with my daughter unable to put up a fight due to her being asleep in bed, I took back ownership of the bowl and placed it in the sink. Sad as this makes me sound, it looks great, fits wonderfully, and somehow makes the entire kitchen look a little more impressive.

That’s it. This week’s newsletter was about me buying a £4.50 washing up bowl. Who needs video games?

It’s been interesting reading the reviews for 007 First Light. I’m strangely drawn to licensed video games that actually do something great with the property, and it seems like IO has done just that. The bar for licensed games is generally pretty low (I’ve reviewed a lot, dating back all the way to the PS2), but there’s something really cool about these games when they get it right. Those Lord of the Rings PS2-era games from EA based on the movies? Brilliant fun. The Bourne game from Ubisoft? Surprisingly entertaining. X-Men Origins: Wolverine from Raven? An actual banger! Let’s just not talk about the PS2 game based on Johnny Depp’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

This newsletter isn’t entirely about video games - in fact, this one was mostly about a plastic bowl. I’ll have a think about some other bits and pieces and round them up in the quick reviews below. I’m a critic, too, you see.

Things I can review:

• Heat (UK): What the fuck is going on with the temperature in the UK? I’ve always hated the heat, and therefore summer, but it tends to be bearable. This May heatwave, which saw temperatures in the south of England hit 33 degrees celsius, has knocked me over. Trying to work as my brain fries has been tricky, plus it happens to be the half-term school holiday for both my kids. Welcome to hell!  1 broken hand fan out of 5 air-con units (that I wish we owned).
• Spurs (Premier League): I’ve had some stressful times watching Spurs over the years. Blowing our best shot at winning the Premier League in 2015/2016, that remarkable Champions League semi-final victory from 2-0 down against Ajax (including a 96th minute winner), the disappointing final that same year, the Europa League final win in 2025, and now the win against Everton on the final day of the 2025/2026 Premier League season that secured the club’s stay in the league. The stress of relegation was far and away the worst I’ve felt watching sport in my entire life. I hope I never have to experience it again. 5 watch alerts for stress out of 5 João Palhinhas.
• The Running Man 2025 (Sky/Now TV): I had fairly high expectations for this. Edgar Wright, the man behind Spaced, the Cornetto Trilogy, Last Night in Soho, Baby Driver, and Scott Pilgrim, surely wouldn’t disappoint here. And yet… this felt flat - devoid of any emotional hooks, lacking in humour, light on tension, too heavy handed, and disjointed. Just a big bag of missed opportunities. 2 maybe too handsome Glenn Powells out of 5 more wooden but watchable Arnolds.